The last thing I ever want to do is develop a holier-than-though attitude about booze now that I personally don’t drink. That would be extremely hypocritical. Especially since the main thing reading “The Easy Way to Stop Drinking” by Allen Carr, does is help you understand why people drink, and understand what a truly ingenious trap alcohol is. I’m no better than any of my friends who continue to drink. I’ve just been BLESSED to find that book and the knowledge that comes with it. If anything I have more sympathy now for people who over-do it or get into trouble like Charles Barkley has.
I saw this story about Barkley having to go to prison for 3 days because of a DUI:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090309/ap_on_sp_bk_ne/bkn_barkley_released
It got me thinking of just how many negative, dire and sometimes deadly consequences of drinking, we as a society just collectively accept as a “normal” part of life! All for the sake of getting “loose” in social situations. I want to be loose in social situations just like anybody else. That’s WHY I drank for 16 years. But man…. what a PRICE we pay! And it doesn’t have to be deadly horrible things.
People do die from drinking. whether from drunk driving, or falling and injuring themselves, or liver failure long term, or toxic overdose short term from binge drinking. And we collectively just accept those deaths as “normal”. It’s tragic, to be sure, for those unlucky few, but we seem to be OK with it if it means the rest of us can continue to get loose in social situations.
How many negative consequences did I accept in MY life, just to be “loose” in social situations? Just so it would be easier to joke around with friends, easier to meet girls, easier to dance, easier to have fun…
How about just the sheer dollar amount? I’m a single man, I routinely go out 4 days a week. That’s not very difficult living in a fun Southern California beach town. Friday and Saturday night every weekend. And Sunday-Funday. Then you just throw in one extra day. Taco Tuesday or…. Thursday! The first day of the weekend. I’d routinely spend about $40/night. 4 nights a week, 4 weeks a month, plus an extra day since only February has exactly 28 days… and that’s $680 a month. And that’s only beers at bars. Let’s not forget all the pre-drinking at home. I will conservatively estimate $100/month for 18 packs of cheap beer for pre-partying. Now we’re at $780/month. I was pretty good about only going out near my house and riding a bike to the bars. (How SAD is that by the way?? Rarely able to go out just ONE town over because it meant driving!) But a couple times a month I’d take a cab somewhere. So factor in $20/month for cabs. …instead of the $1.00 a sober person would spend on gas driving his own car! Now we’re at $800/month. $9,600 a year! $9,600 post-tax dollars a year, which is about $13,000 of actual income earned. All for the sake of feeling “loose” in social situations so I could have fun. Wow.
How about the effect all those calories were having on my health? Never mind the damage alcohol does to your liver. Most people who drink do NOT die of liver disease, so let’s not even consider that. What about just the sheer number of calories? Let’s figure that out. I could put down 10 beers on an AVERAGE night. “10 beers! No way, I don’t drink like that!” Don’t you? Think about it. “Well I only had 6 beers out at the bar.” Ok, I’ll give you that. But what about the 3 at the house before you left and the 1 beer at the “afterparty?” Men who don’t have to drive, can ROUTINELY drink 10 beers in one night without even realizing it. Try counting all the drinks you had the next day. You’ll be surprised. I used to THINK I had about 6 a night… until I started counting. The reality for me was around TEN. And it’s the reality for a lot of guys.
I made “smart” choices and went with light, 100 calorie drinks. But that’s still 1,000 calories a night, 4 nights a week. 4,000 EMPTY calories every week! Either on top of what I was eating, or short-changing what I was eating nutritionally because I blew the calories I should have used on good food, on beer.
No wonder I’ve been trapped in an average body my whole life. No wonder even though I was in my prime in my 20s, and I could diet and get lean, I could never get “ripped.” How could I with 4,000 extra calories every week?? The futility of it all…
How about all the money I’d spend on cabs because I was too drunk to drive? How about all the bars in other towns I wanted to check out but couldn’t because they were outside of cab range? No WAY I would drive because that means I’d have to stay sober. I’m not saying I NEVER drove to bars and stayed sober. I think all drinkers do that from time to time in a failed attempt to prove to themselves that they don’t “need” the booze, but it was a RARE exception. Time and time again, even if I knew the bars further away were more fun, I would still choose the close-to-home option.
How about all the girls I BLEW IT with? This of course wasn’t an issue when I had a girlfriend, but when I’m single I like to date. How many girls did I absolutely blow it with because I was TOO drunk. This happens to ALL single drinkers, guys and girls. You start out trying to get “loose” so you can interact with the opposite sex more easily. But it’s easy to get TOO drunk. And there’s nothing attractive about someone who is too drunk. Man, when I think of all the girls who’s names I forgot! Girls who I “re-introduced” myself to when I’d just met them 5 minutes earlier. Girls who I said something completely inappropriate to, thanks to “lowered inhibitions”. Girls I would straight-up FORGET to go back to after going to the bathroom or the bar and not realize it until I saw them with another guy at the end of the night. All for the sake of getting loose…. Yeah. I got loose alright. Too loose!
But we just ACCEPT this as “normal”. As a normal part of society. And we laugh about it. Probably because it’s so tragic that’s the only way we can deal with it. “Ohhhh man you totally blew it with that girl last night, that was funny!” “Ohhhh man you were throwing up all night! That was sooooo funny.” “Ohhhhh man you almost got your ass kicked by that big guy last night. That was soooooo funny!” Is it?? It it really funny? Maybe to your friends. But it’s rarely funny to the person involved. But we just accept this as “normal life”.
It’s NOT normal. In the 7 months since I quit drinking I’ve been able to achieve that “get loose” feeling stone sober WITHOUT booze. It’s not easy. There is an adjustment period, when you first go out in social situations sober, where you will feel completely out of place. Like you aren’t having fun. Maybe even “seized up” or panicky. But if you keep forcing yourself outside of your comfort zone and keep going out to be social in whatever social situations you used booze for as a crutch in the past, you get past the “adjustment period.”
And once you do….. Oh man life is beautiful! You feel YOUNG. You feel like a kid again. I’m there now. I can go to a bar or nightclub stone sober and have as much, if not MORE fun now, than I ever did when I drank. How awesome is that?? You get ALL the benefits of drinking, and none of the negative consequences. And when you get there, you wonder WHY you drank for as long as you did. And you start to see things differently. Which is what prompted this post. You can’t see how as a society we can collectively just ACCEPT DUIs, and drunk-driving deaths, and injury, and colossal sums of money spent, and health consequences, all just to get loose!
You know what? It IS worth it. IF getting drunk is the only way to enjoy social situations; if that’s the only way to have fun and get loose, I suppose we should just accept all the problems of booze. And that’s the ingeniousness of the trap! Making you believe that it’s normal, that you HAVE to drink to have fun in social situations, or to dance, or to go talk to that girl, or whatever. It’s not true! It’s NOT the only way to enjoy yourself. I’m not bullshitting or a victim of “wishful thinking”, I truly have more fun now sober than I ever did drunk! And no, I don’t mean I go skydiving and kayaking now instead of going out. I mean I have MORE fun in nightclubs and bars, FULL of drunk people, socializing, meeting women, dancing, etc. And because I don’t have the negative consequences - one of those being hangovers and lethargy the day after - I can go do those other things as well.
It’s a better life. If you want that life I encourage you to read “The Easy Way to Stop Drinking” by Allen Carr. You DON’T have to consider yourself an alcoholic to want to stop! I don’t think I’m an alcoholic. I never thought that. But I knew I was completely dependent on it to have fun in social situations. And while that may be acceptable by 90% of society, it was unacceptable to me. The only reason I continued as long as I did, is because I believed what everyone else believed. That as bad as the negative consequences were, it was a NECESSARY evil. And it was totally worth it if it meant I could have more fun in social situations. Once you realize that’s not true, quitting is easy. Not only easy, a natural thing to do once you see the truth.
The thing that keeps most people trapped is the “adjustment period”. Those first few nights out - even the first MONTH or TWO - in social situations where people normally drink, you WILL feel out of place and awkward. And that’s why people keep drinking. They try sober for a night or two and determine it’s no fun. They don’t realize they just have to get through the adjustment period! And once they do, they will have MORE FUN sober than they ever did drunk. The whole reason for that “adjustment period” is BECAUSE of booze. It’s because you are dependent on that crutch that you feel awkward without it! So drinking isn’t the cure for that awkwardness…. it’s the CAUSE OF IT!
I hope at least one person reading this can see the trap for what it truly is and gets to experience the AWESOME life that I get EVERY day now. You’re not going to turn into some straight-edge, no fun, going-to-meetings, BORING person. Far from it!! I’m the life of the party. I go to bars and clubs full of drunk people all the time. I socialize, I dance, I have just as much fun as everybody else. Probably more. It’s not hard to get off the crutch. Just read the book.
